Latest Tweets:

johnkatier:

dude god could come down from heaven with a million angels and tell me that gif is pronounced “jif” and i still wouldn’t fucking do it

(Source: kosukeueki, via myabsurdego)

carpelibros:

slendertroll:

red-means-unsolved:

you-crazy-little-runaway:

niggaclouds:

pbh3:

The planets, aligned.

the sickest thing ive ever seen

The moon isn’t a planet you dumbfuck

the moon isn’t on there, fyi

that’s mercury, venus, earth, mars, jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune, and pluto

Pluto isn’t a planet you dumbfuck

Viva la Pluto, motherfucker.

(Source: jonyorkblog, via myabsurdego)

(Source: nosdrinker, via myabsurdego)

rlyhigh:

i’m actually so down for you it’s stupid i’m stupid

(via myabsurdego)

(Source: lauren-ariel, via death-by-lulz)

*3

you smell like pizza and cigarettes

i fucking love it

(Source: orchard, via bajablastoise)

zeusyallday:

so airplanes officially banned tweezers. honestly i think anyone that can hijack an airplane with a pair of tweezers deserves the airplane

(via bajablastoise)

religiousdad:

am i macklemore than you bargained for yet?

(via sleepthroughthealarm)

(Source: lolgifs.net, via rawhumor)

itsseamus:

me: *comes out of room*

parents: oh! lord have mercy! she came out of her cave!

me:

image

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

tittily:

sandandglass:

Source

imagine being that one guy who broke an 11 hour kindness chain

(via sleepthroughthealarm)

*1

(Source: catdad, via pagingme)

dicktouching:

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

There is a very very large difference between Tumblr internet humor and actual humor

And it becomes obvious every time you try to tell a joke in real life.

(Source: flip5600, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)